Dear Fork Dropper,

I know you dropped your fork.

I know because I set that table, and I put a fork there.

I know because when I took your drink order, you had a fork there.

I know because you didn't look me in the eyes when you said, "I didn't get a fork!"

I know because I've seen you many times. In many forms.

Just fucking admit it already.

-Your Waitress.